- Child: Dear God will mommy get better?
- God: THERE'S A LINK TO MY FAQ PAGE ON MY BLOG READ IT BEFORE YOU ASK ME THINGS PLS THX <3
shout out to all of the custodians, cooks, garbage truck drivers, cafeteria workers, bus drivers, waiters, and every one else whose jobs and entire fucking existences get shit on by the same people who wouldn’t know what to do with their lives if they had to do anything for themselves
you can’t just do something like wear shorts and show your legs in hot weather because that is bad. it is leg. you can’t just leg
yeah. this is a robbery. but im not like most robbers. im different. the #1 rule of my robberies is for everyone to have fun and be yourselves (: also im not saying im random but give me all your squirrels xD (: haha no im just havin a little fun. whenever ur ready to give me your money, go for it :)
if you chew loudly i will consider stabbing you
i hope revving your motorcycle engine in the middle of the night made you feel better about your small penis
if you ever hurt an animal on purpose you’re a fucking piece of shit